No one has ever asked.
Who I truly am. What lies beneath the surface. The truth is that underneath the pleasant smiles, friendly greetings, sharp tongue, and charisma lives a monster. The darkness perverts every good deed that I do. and no matter how hard I try to repent for my sins, every step I take that leads me farther from my convictions and closer to my demons. Every step is a step closer to who I really am. I’m too manipulative to be a good person anymore. If you have second thoughts about getting to know me, listen to them. They should be your first thoughts. I am the one that your mother warned you about. I am the thing that goes bump in the night. I am the monster under the bed, in the closet. The best thing I can do is run from the righteous and towards the darkness, the place where I belong. The place I have made my home. The place where my flaws are hidden amongst the darker shadows of others.
I can’t even write anything on here because I don’t want anyone to know what I’m thinking.
I’m not here to talk about who I’ve been or who I want to be. At any point in life there are literally a million different ways that life can go. I can change anything about the present moment while it’s living in my hands. As a writer sometimes I feel inclined to sit back and let the moment slip through my fingers and onto a piece of paper. However, sometimes it gets lost in my brain and wants to stay there for an eternity. Today, right now, at this moment, I can be Brooks King who sits and feels sorry for himself, I could be Brooks King who wants nothing to do with the hand I’ve dealt myself, I could be Brooks King that doesn’t believe in wishes anymore. But I made one last night, quietly, during a blink at 11:11. Today my wish came true when I laid in bed with you for half and hour and it felt like thirty five minutes. That was all I asked for, a little more time with you, maybe I’m losing my mind. Last night when I was over tired and upset I started seeing things, I thought for a second I was insane. Maybe I am. But maybe, just maybe something happened last night. The type of magic that only two broken hearts can conjure up. The type of magic that only comes to life when filled with passionate emotion. The type of magic that grows in a piece of a heart that’s been kept in a pocket for too long. The type of magic that forms from the dust of old habits you’ve tried to put into storage. Maybe you felt it, that time between 7:00 and 7:04 that held it’s breathe. It wasn’t actually any longer. It just felt that way.
Little wishes, that’s the trick. It’s harder for them to backfire. But I wished again, for the first time in a long time. I made a wish, and for the first time ever, it came true.
Please don’t mistake my affection for misdirection.
I know I may have lost my way but that’s why I took your compass once that day.
Could you tell by my inflection that I had every good intention, but when I saw my own reflection I was filled with apprehension.
I never meant to push you away but that was all I ever did until this very day.
I’m telling you where I stand, I want to be the one that holds your hand, I want to do everything I can to be your only man.
I hope your in the mood to be forgiving, because friend or lover, a life without you is not a life worth living.
You’re irreplaceable, unmistakeable, my desire for you is insatiable.
I will make this right, not today and not tonight, but give me some time and I’ll remind you what it means to be mine.
Okay, so throughout my life I’ve gotten plenty of Anon’s coming to my blog and writing things that they believe will be hurtful. Unfortunately for them, it’s never really worked. I don’t get worked up over stupid cowardly people who feel the need to tear others down, so that they can feel good about themselves. The only reason, the only reason, I take offense to it is because I know it’s not just me they are going to do it to. People like that don’t target one person because they truly believe that person has a character flaw (which by the way, we all have) they target anyone who they think they can really bother, or just people who they are jealous of. So, if someone does this to me, that’s fine, but if they want to do it to other people. It’s not okay with me. These people have the power to seriously hurt peoples feelings, and for what? A cheap laugh on the internet in between drinking an energy drink, masturbating to weird porn, and eating a whole bag of cheetos without washing their hands? Find a new hobby, bullying isn’t cool anymore, especially not over the internet, it’s even more cowardly than doing it in person. I can only imagine that if these people weren’t hiding behind a computer screen they’d be hiding behind their Mum’s skirt. Basically, just go fuck yourself.
Reblog this shit if you want to end internet hate, if you were bullied, or if you had a friend who was affected by bullying.
You’d swear up and down, left and right that I’m not the person I used to be. I’m not even the person I became after that. I’m someone new now and for better or worse I’m stuck with me. Until I’m not this person anymore, then I’m stuck with someone else. I don’t care if he’s happier than me, but I am willing to wager he’ll be wiser.
brought on by too much caffeine or nicotine that brings about the confidence to delve a little deeper into your mind. When you look back upon the “why’s” of things more than just the “what’s” because there is so much more to life than just the things that happen to you. If you can figure out what it was that you were doing at the time of a major event in your life, and how that event aided in or stunted your growth. You come a little closer to understanding yourself. I think happiness comes from knowing ones self, and how one can interact with other people.
Your influence will turn into your reputation, which may someday become your legacy.
It’s looking to me like the more you go out and chase your dreams, the more you realize what is truly close to your heart. Sometimes it’s surprising, but only for a moment. It’s just like the second that a coin is suspended in mid air after heads or tails has been called. In that split second, you are not only hoping, but willing the coin to land in your favor. In that moment, you know exactly what it is that you’re hoping for.
I take a trip halfway around the world to start my studies in Marburg, Germany. While in Europe I’ll take a trip almost completely around the sun, I’ll see more countries and cultures than my little American mind can handle.
Then, when I come back, after all the miles I’ll have traveled, and all the pages I will have filled, I’ll see the people who loved me before. Hopefully they will still love me then. Hopefully, when I come back, I’ll be enough like the person I am now that I fall back into place like a puzzle piece. Hopefully, I’ll be a more complete puzzle myself.
Hopefully, I make it back in one piece.
that is a slight hint in your direction, something that will point you in the direction of my true feelings. Look no further. This is for you.
I’m sorry I can’t be the person you want me to be for you. I know that you think I can, but at this point in my life I don’t want to be anything for anyone. I just want to find out what will happen when I am released into the world and left to my own devices.
I’m not asking for your permission to do this, I’m delivering an apology in advance for whatever mess this creates.
But I do love you, so don’t doubt that. But, I am sorry about all of this.